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Fred Thomas
Advice from an Old Man to a Young Whipper Snapper
"Always keep your head screwed on straight, don't cross thread it or you'll get wrinkles in your neck. Remember to pull your head out of the sand and hold your head high but not in the clouds. Don't be head strong, pig headed, bull headed or hard headed but on the other hand don't be soft headed either. Don't let young women turn your head and don't lose your head over them. Don't fall head over heels in love even if they are giving you some.......ah yes. When headed out the door, know where you're headed, Head down the right path and head in the right direction. Head up the high road, keep a clear head, an even head but don't head off a cliff. Look overhead after you pull your head out of your ass. Don't leap head first or head long into the head waters or you might get a bump on the head. Keep your head down when walking into a headwind. Try not to be so big headed that you make the headlines."
"Is that all?", said the young man.
"No", said the old man. "Don't stick your neck out or you could get your head chopped off. Keep your ear to the ground, your eyes on the ball, your shoulder to the wheel and your chin up......blah....blah......blah........"
The kid in a daze turned and stumbled right into an open man hole.
The old man said, "I told you to keep a cool head and watch where you're headed. How can I help?"
"Put the cover on the man hole please.", said the young whipper snapper.
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