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Lynn Jaenke (Erb)
Mr. Shelton was one of my favorite teachers. I learned so much from him, and when I was teaching school in Burlington, VT, I was told after I signed the contract that I didn't have any text books or curriculum. I was teaching PE in the morning, and these were afternoon classes make up of kids who were struggling in many, many ways. I came back to RR, and Mr. Shelton spent a lot of time with me, and gave me reams of super interesting material to do with these kids. I was so appreciative. He was the first teacher who ever made me really think about the meaniing of the books I was reading. I especially remember an after school study of The Lord of the Flies. It blew my mind open, and has influenced my whole life, just as Mr. Bohn's trips to the valley for the nature club influenced my life in ways I didn't have a clue about at the time.
I just finished a very intensive, immersive class to become certified to be and End of Life Doula, and to Susie Munn I would say to be gentle with yourself. What you gave to your husband is beyond compare. I do understand though, because I find myself kicking myself for things I didn't do right in my marriage with Phil. Maybe they were small things, but I magnified them in my mind after he died.
As for hospice, I have been a volunteer for several years at a hospice facility, and it is a place of sadness sometimes, but more often it is a place of life, joy, and heartfelt love. We help those who are there to live as fully as possible until they die. I would never feel guilty about putting anyone there....I would go there myself. Many people who bring their loved ones there during the last few days of life remark that if they had known, they would have come sooner. I love my time there, and love playing my harp for all the residents and their families (not the only thing I do there). Some of the finest people I have ever met are hospice workers and volunteers.
As for the issue of not speaking to people, I hope that wasn't aimed at me, because I certainly don't feel I am not speaking with anyone. I appreciate all the gifts that everyone brings to this forum. I don't travel much at all because I can't afford to monitarily. Fortunately, I am so happy liviing here in Vermont, and have great community and friends...and close family. The biggest great news is that my youngest son, who is doing a fellowship at Johns Hopkins, has just accepted a position at the UVM Medical Center as a surgeon. I am so excited to have him coming back here on a permanent basis!
We all have experienced a lot of losses recently, and this trend will continue as we all edge closer to our final days. I work at the front desk at the Respite House (our hospice facility), and for some strange reason, I always count up on the census I have at the desk how many people are my age and younger and how many are older. Almost always, there are more people there that are my age and younger. That's pretty shocking to me, and a wake up call to be as present to my life as I can be, cherishing every little detail of the day. So much of my time is spent in the past or future, and that's not where I really am...I need to be just where I am...in the present. So, this is a long message, as I haven't written in quite awhile. I wish the best to each and every one of you.
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